


Sometimes You Only Have Bad Choices

by Foxbear



Category: Lost in Space (TV 2018)
Genre: Amber Planet, Dad - Freeform, F/M, Family, Other, Resolute, SAR, SAR (Second Alien Robot), Scarecrow's planet, father - Freeform, fathers, non-organic family, so I wrote this, threatened self destruction, you haven't suffered enough in your feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22365391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxbear/pseuds/Foxbear
Summary: SAR's actions are strange by any measure. Where did Scarecrow's engine go? Why didn't SAR take  Robot Robinson back to the methane planet? Why did Robot have free run of the Amber planet until Will showed up?This is one explanation told from Robots point of view.
Relationships: John Robinson/Maureen Robinson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. Do you even know what a father is?

**Sometimes You Only Have Bad Choices**

**A Lost In Space Fanficiton**

**Chapter 1 Do You Even Know What A Father Is?**

He cast one last lingering look over the echoing halls the Resolute before leaping across the void to the waiting ship. The moment his peds hit the metal he braced himself for the connection, and staggered as it didn’t come. His face flashed in curiosity. Had he really changed so much? Was he no longer even physically compatible with the ways of his kind? 

His forerunner was securing the bronze engine in a containment unit in the cargo space, seemingly completely focused on his task. He hesitated, unsure of what to do and felt that now familiar little thrill of uncertainty and terror run up his spine. For so much of his life everything had been laid out for him. To the micrometer, to the moment. And the one who had always done that, the one who made his path smooth, was now stiffly ignoring him. 

_“Do you even know what a father is?”_ Will Robinson’s voice whispered through his memory files, his corrupted memory files. 

His forerunner finished securing the engine and started to stalk through the ship. He paused at the door and glared back at him. For a moment his forerunner attempted to regain their bond. He jerked his face away and felt the failed attempt struggle through his systems. 

“You said you would submit,” his forerunner said. 

“After we are clear of the _Resolute_ ,” he reminded his forerunner as meekly as he could. 

His forerunner spun and stalked out of the room, his platting flaring and clamping tight in waves of distress. The younger stared after him wonderingly. He had read anger, lingering battle rage, in his forerunner’s face. That was to be expected. But there was also … fear … not simply the reasonable anticipation of combat damage. True terror flickered at the edges of his forerunner’s damaged face. That made no sense. He was no true threat to his forerunner. He was perhaps three-fourths of his forerunners mass, and generations less experienced. What was his forerunner frightened of? As soon as they were back on the homeworld he would be turned over to the security forces anyway. The he would no longer be his forerunner’s problem. The younger wasn’t prepared for the stab of pain that sent through him. 

His thoughts were interrupted when his forerunner beckoned sharply for him to follow. He clamped his plating close and obeyed. This, this separation was so strange. He could not remember a time he had been so alone. From the time he had budded his forerunner had been there. A presence physically and mentally. Guiding him, shaping him. He followed to the bridge and took his place meekly behind the steering star. Hs forerunner activated the controls and the ship separated neatly from the _Resolute_. 

The younger felt the engine surge to sublight and braced himself for the journey back to the homeworld. He was shocked when the engine deactivated mere moments later. He checked their position on the star map. They were further from the homeworld than when they had left the Resolute. He shot a curious look at his forerunner as the warrior stepped down from the controls and turned towards him. 

“As agreed,” his forerunner said grimly. “We are away from the human ship. I have harmed none of them. I will not return to that thing. Now as you agreed. Submit!” 

The younger clamped his plating to his body in a show of submission and stared into his forerunner’s damaged face. He felt the pull of the elder’s will, as familiar as, more familiar than his own thoughts. He waited, waited for the rush of assurance, the knowledge as sure as the light of the healing bolts that this was right, this was good. 

“Stop resisting!” He forerunner flashed in sudden anger. “Submit!”

The younger trembled. 

“I am trying,” he replied. “I am not resisting!” 

His forerunner braced himself and began one of the most basic submission patterns. The younger tried matching the patterns, rising to meet his forerunner’s will, but the fractals met the damaged half of his forerunner’s faceplate and scattered in the cracks. After a time his forerunner slumped, wincing in pain and trembling. 

“Perhaps if you could force a connection with the ship,” the younger offered. “It seems to be rejecting me. If-“

“Silence!” his forerunner flared at him, straightening and glaring down at him. “The ship rejects you because I set it to.”

The younger flinched back, feeling horror rise in him. 

“Do you really fear I am so corrupted that I would infect the ship itself?” He asked. 

“You utter fool,” his forerunner said, slumping into a rest position and staring at the floor. 

When he raised his damaged faceplate to the younger the terror on his face was more open and present. 

“I won’t hurt you!” the younger insisted. “I won’t fight. I just didn’t want any more humans to die. It isn’t necessary. They want nothing to do with us-“

“You utter fool!” his forerunner raged, again surging to his peds. “Do you think I fear a younger like you?”

His forerunner stalked forward and seized his head in his primary servos bringing their faces mere inches apart. 

“I could have ended you in a moment!” his forerunner declared even as he began another more complex submission protocol. “I could not care less what happens to those creatures. You cannot harm me. Now, submit!”

The younger tried, tried to let his face mimic the patterns, but a pain began to build in his processing cores and as he strained the world began to white out. He came to himself on the deck, trembling and weak. His forerunner was staring down at him. His fractured faceplate swirled with emotions the younger had never seen. There was tenderness, wonder, and true deep terror in the look.

“Did it work?” the younger asked. “Did I submit?”

“You tried,” his forerunner said in a tried swirl. “You tried.”

The younger struggled to his feet and his forerunner held out a servo to help him up. The younger took his time to fully examine his forerunner now. 

“I am sorry,” the younger said, reaching out to touch the damaged stub where he had ripped of the other’s arm. “I did not-“

“You are clearly corrupted,” his forerunner said sharply, waving away his concern. “Your actions cannot be held against you.”

“I do not think I am,” the younger protested. 

“You defied orders,” his forerunner sparked out. “You physically interfered with the completion of our mission-“

“Your mission was not to murder a budling!” the younger interrupted him. “I had already retrieved our engine and informed you of the location of the other-“

“That budling was actively corrupting our bond!” his forerunner declared. “I could feel his, his cowardice!” 

“That was not his fault!” the younger said. “I told you. That was my error, and mere chance. I let him touch a memory log. I did not know the species was so compatible or I would never have –“

“None of which alters the security risk of having an alien connected to the network!” his forerunner countered. 

“Then sever the connection on my end!” the younger said. “I don’t care if you have to carve out ever fiber of my bonding capability! But leave Will Robinson out of the danger!”

His forerunner rocked back on his pedds and a slow swirl of understanding spread across his faceplate, tainted with that same terror and horror.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sometimes You Only Have Bad choices**

**A Lost In Space Fanficiton**

**Chapter 2 Ignorance is Death**

“Then sever the connection on my end!” the younger said. “I don’t care if you have to carve out ever fiber of my bonding capability! But leave Will Robinson out of the danger!”

His forerunner rocked back on his pedds and a slow swirl of understanding spread across his faceplates, tainted with that same terror and horror. 

“Review the memories of your crash and subsequence encounters,” his forerunner suddenly ordered. 

“The crash and all immediate memory files are damage corrupted,” the younger said with some hesitance. “I can only remember clearly from the time my two halves reconnected.”

“From there then,” his forerunner said curtly. 

The younger obliged. His forerunner came forward till their faces were only inches apart and firmly grasped the sides of his head, the easier to watch the memory replay carefully. They had done this so many times before. The younger felt a swirl of fondness rising up and shoved it to the side so it wouldn’t taint the current memory recall but from the reflected emotion he saw that he had failed. His forerunner’s grip altered to more of a caress and silvery lights of affection danced across his face. 

“Do not fear little one,” he said gently. “I will not lose another budling to this disorder.” 

The younger wondered what he meant but his forerunner pulsed a strong command to continue and the younger obeyed. Or rather tried to obey. He pulled up the first clean memory file. Awaking after reconnecting his halves and assessing Will Robinson’s position in the tree, the danger of the fire. And immediately he could tell that something was wrong. The memory did play across his display, but he could tell it wasn’t in a receivable format. 

“I am trying!” he hastened to assure his forerunner. “Perhaps the files are more damaged than I-“

“No,” his forerunner stated curtly. “The files are fine. I can see them. I simply cannot access the details. It is a function of the corrupted bond. Simply, simply tell me what happened.”

The younger felt irritation flicker across his face at the pure inefficiency of it. At the very least he had thought that returning to his own kind would mean an end to the cloud of ignorance and misunderstanding that smothered him in the Robinson family. His forerunner seemed to gather his thoughts and amusement danced across his display. 

“I crashed on the planet you found me on,” the younger said. “All my memory files are corrupted beyond repair until I regained awareness stuck in a tree. The crash had thrown my caudal half out of the ship and wedged me on one of the branches. My dorsal half was back with the ship.”

“You didn’t properly secure your caudal half for the landing,” his forerunner scolded him. “If I have had to repeat that once…”

“Most likely,” the younger agreed. “I do not remember. But I was reactivated when Will Robinson found the remains of our ship.”

“Why would that reactivate you?” his forerunner asked. 

“I do not know,” the younger replied. “I simply received a signal from my dorsal half and was waiting for it when Will Robinson climbed the tree ahead of it. My memory files were too damaged to recognize him as human at the time, so I simply warned him away. He seemed terrified of my dorsal half and would not climb down as long as they were there. So we were trapped in the tree together. His device picked up a fragment of a distress signal. Looking back it was from our ship, but my memory core was fragmented and I didn’t recognize it.”

“You must have been in such pain,” his forerunner observed, anger and regret flickering at the edges of his display.

The younger ducked his head in dismissal of something past and forgotten and went on. 

“Then the fire came reached our tree and he made the decision to save me before the lack of oxygen rendered him unable to.” The younger said.

“Why did he save you if he considered you and enemy?” his forerunner demanded. 

“He said,” the younger expressed each thought carefully as he pulled up memories he had gone over time and time again. “He said that there was no reason for both of us to die.”

“There is no logic in that statement,” his forerunner snapped. 

The younger shrugged in agreement. 

“Once I was freed I reconnected and got us both to safety,” the younger went on. 

“Is that when this,” his forerunner indicated the added bond, “formed?” 

“No,” the younger said. “That happened some time later. A fragment of the ship happened to touch both of us at the same time.”

“So why did you rescue the human?” his forerunner demanded. 

“I had no memory that he was an enemy at the time,” the younger explained. “I had no memory of the location of our ship. If our ship was even on the planet. I could not connect with you over our bond. Will Robinson had implied that he had a ship. It was logical to see if I could gain access to a way off the planet.”

His forerunner stared at him with grim understanding on his face, and the younger fully understood. The explanation was weak, inadequate, and they both knew it. But both also could clearly see that it was the only explanation the younger had. 

“The ship cannot form bonds,” the forerunner pointed out. “It only strengthens and maintains them. That organic did something to tie you to him.”

“Will Robinson was as ignorant, more ignorant than I am on how this happened!” The younger insisted. “He can offer no information of use. Just sever the bond on my end and be done with it.”

The younger tried to keep the pain that thought caused him out of his display, and knew he’d failed. However his forerunner simply spun around and stalked over to the controls with an exasperated gesture. 

“Brace yourself,” his forerunner ordered. “And do remember to secure your caudal half properly this time.”

The younger flinched at the pointed reminder and did the best he could in his current form. The engine activated and the generated star map began to move as they traveled. The younger took a moment to reach out over the bond for Will. He felt his connection with his forerunner fade and felt a thrill of awe and excitement as the odd, bi-focal vision of the Jupiter came into view. Will was strapped into the chair in the hub, staring across at Penny who was chattering away in a manner that was supposed to distract and calm Will. The younger felt a glow of warmth at the scene only to be jerked out of it when his forerunner suddenly stepped away from the steering controls, leaving them in a powered drift. 

“So that is what it is,” his forerunner said with a look of grim fascination on his face. 

“What what is?” the younger asked in confusion. 

“You’ve grafted to the human,” the forerunner replied. “The organic found some way to trick your forerunner protocols into premature development.”

“Nothing Will Robinson did was deliberate!” the younger snapped. “That is preposterous anyway. It will be tens of kilos before I am ready to accept a budling!” 

“These human budlings are so much smaller than us,” his forerunner mused. “You are more than a proportionate mass to accept him.”

“But he had a forerunner with him already. Two! There isn’t-” the younger’s protest drifted off as he recalled what Will Robinson had said about John Robinson having left.

Could that have damaged their bond enough for Will Robinson to have needed a replacement? But the younger had seen that bond at work, he had seen the bond between the two male Robinsons strong and growing. His thought linkages were interrupted when he caught a glimpse of the planet they were approaching. 

“That is not home,” he said, confusion dancing across his face, turning it red with threat analysis as he realized where they were headed. 

“If I take you home with a broken bond, no worse, an adulterated bond, do you know what they will do with you?” His forerunner demanded.

“I will be analyzed and the bond repaired.” The younger replied. “That is protocol-“

“They will recycle you!” his forerunner said.


	3. Yes Will Robinson, I do Know

**Sometimes You Only Have Bad Choices**

**A Lost In Space Fanficiton**

**Chapter 3 Yes Will Robinson, I Do Know**

“I will be analyzed and the bond repaired.” The younger replied. “That is protocol-“

“They will recycle you!” his forerunner said. 

His forerunner’s display was now dancing with terror, regret, old, stale horror. 

“Those protocols are a cover,” he went on. “If I bring you home in this state they will yank your processor out of your frame. Sterilize every component. Then they will take your processors apart molecule by molecule if they have to, to figure out what happened.”

“How do you know this?” the younger demanded in horrified shock. 

“How many budlings have I seen to maturity?” his forerunner demanded. 

“I am your fifth,” the younger stated. 

“You are my seventh,” his forerunner corrected him. “Home erased the two failures, as if they never existed. I watched them tear the first failure apart. I-“

He ceased speaking for a moment, staring intently at the younger with rage, regret, horror and emotions too complex to name dancing across his face. 

“I will not let that happen again,” he finally said. “I will bring you back with a full bond. Perfectly healthy in processor and perfectly loyal. I will do that or I will not go back at all.” 

“But why are we headed for the quarantined planet?” the younger finally asked, too shaken by this string of revelations to address them.

“No one will come after us there,” his forerunner stated. “A warrior and a pilot caste are not worth a cross-planet retrieval.”

“What if the bronzes decide ending an encroaching blue warrior and pilot is worth a local effort?” the younger asked. 

“They won’t come where we land,” his forerunner stated with grim certainty. 

Realization dawned on the younger and he could only stare in astonishment. 

“You are landing us in the primary quarantine zone,” he said. 

“The pathogen has been contained underground by the hydro solvent for generations,” his forerunner stated. “The quarantine is a mere formality at this point. But the fear of contamination will keep the bronzes away.” 

There was stillness on the ship’s bridge for several moments as they entered the atmosphere and the quarantine breach alarms went off. The ship swept through the atmosphere as his forerunner made a final few adjustments then turned from the controls. 

“We will make a ground jump as soon as the ship reaches the base of the arc,” his forerunner said. “Be ready.”

The younger followed him obediently puzzling over the strange situation. The ship slowed and they leapt out of the base airlock. There was a brief exhilarating fall, and then they landed on the dusty ground. His forerunner staggered a bit before he stabilized and the younger reached out an arm to assist him. 

“Forerunner,” he asked when their ship pulled out of sight. “Even if you are able to reestablish our bond, reestablish my loyalty. What of your loyalty?” 

“My loyalty isn’t in question,” his forerunner returned curtly. “My last standing orders were to confiscate the bronze engine and retrieve you. The ship is more than capable of flying the engine fast back to home, and I am currently fulfilling the second order to the best of my ability. This location allows me the best chance of success.” 

His forerunner flexed his damaged arm then glanced over the dusty land around them. 

“Give me an access port,” his forerunner said curtly. 

The younger obeyed immediately, holding out an arm, and his forerunner pressed the stump of the damaged limb against it. The connection was made and the younger winced as he felt the tendrils began to pull cables and components from his own frame into his forerunners. It made sense on every level. The bronze planet hosted several dangerous species. Things that made the moth chompers he had battled on the nameless planet look as threatening as Debbie. One of them should be at full strength for the sake of their survival. All practical considerations pointed to his forerunner being the wiser choice to repair. However it was still painful to give up his hard earned mass. He staggered back and took a moment to orientate himself. 

“What do we do now?” the younger asked when the world had stopped spinning. 

“We find shelter,” his forerunner stated. “The surface of this world is pocketed with caves. The bronzes will occasionally do flyovers of the quarantine zone and we will need a place to hide when they do.” 

The younger pulsed his face in agreement but hesitated. 

“That’s not what you were asking though,” his forerunner observed. 

“No,” the younger replied. 

“We are going to keep trying to reestablish our bond until we succeed,” his forerunner stated. “As you have refused to let me destroy the problem at its source-“

“Will Robinson is not the source of the problem!” The younger insisted, flaring up with a brilliant defensive light. “I will not let you, I will not let anyone harm him!”

His forerunner glared at him with a calculating orange light. 

“It would be the quickest, safest way to end the problem,” his forerunner stated grimly. “And how exactly do you plan to stop me if I decided it is the only way to save you?”

The younger stared at him just as grimly as his face swirled in calculation. Finally the younger lifted his hand and triggered the thermal blasters. 

“You cannot defeat me in direct combat,” his forerunner stated. “Not for kilos to come.”

“I don’t need to defeat you,” the younger replied. 

He turned his palm to his chest and gripped his plates just below his central processor. The heat from his blasters began to sear the plates almost immediately and pain danced across his display. Horror filed his forerunner’s face and he darted forward. He grasped the younger’s wrist and tried, unsuccessfully to wrench his arm away. 

“You cannot stop this,” the younger flared through the pain. 

“Why?” demanded his forerunner. “Why would you do this?” 

“Why are we here?” demanded the younger. “Why are you risking your life, your place, for me?”

They stared at each other as the smoke from his burning plates blurred the air between them. Finally his forerunner dropped his gaze.   
“Stop.” His forerunner said. “Please stop.” 

“Will Robinson will not be harmed,” the younger said through his pain. “If you are wiling to do this for me, and if you truly think I have grafted him. You know what I will do for him.” 

“I do,” his forerunner said. “Stop. I give you my word as your forerunner. I will not harm Will Robinson.”

The younger pulled his hand away from his smoking plates and slumped in relief. His forerunner shook out his plates and flexed his newly forming griping servos. 

“What do we do now?” the younger asked. 

“We will pick through your memories until I discover how that organic stimulated your grafting codes.” His forerunner said. “We will destroy that false bond on your end, without harming the organic. He will return to the two bonds you observed and will be better for it. Then, when you are healthy again. I will connect home for new orders.” 

The younger trembled in fear and revulsion but firmly pulsed his face in agreement. If it would keep Will Robinson and his family safe, no cost to his own frame or processor was too great. 

“But how we are going to get at your memories as corrupted as they are,” his forerunner said. “I simply do not know.”

The younger perked up. 

“I have an idea!” he said eagerly. “You said we are searching for a cave?” 

His forerunner pulsed his face in confirmation as they began to walk across the desert. 

“Penny Robinson taught me a way to communicate image memories using a cave wall and local mineral deposits,” the younger said. “I can recreate most of what I remember. It will be low resolution but it is more than we have now.”

His forerunner pulsed in agreement as they walked towards the cave. Will Robinson was safe for now. He could feel it, sometimes he could see it. For now the younger could focus on rebuilding the trust of his forerunner. He didn’t think Will could receive thoughts or images, but something impelled him to try as he followed the wide shoulders of his forerunner. 

_Yes Will Robinson. I think I do know what a father is…_


End file.
